Why “Relapse is Part of Healing” is False and How Pornography Viewers can Forsake Pornography Once and For All and Make Relapse a Thing of the Past.
It’s the “once and for all” that plagues most viewers. Those who sincerely want to quit and try their best to quit end up relapsing again and again and again. They feel discouraged and start to question their self-worth. They think, “Is this just how life will be? With no permanent relief from a porn habit?”
If this describes you or someone you know, it’s not your fault. You just didn’t know the solution. Even therapists describe relapse as “part of the process” of overcoming a pornography addiction or habit. They’ll tell you that it will take years of work to be able to put it behind you.
But there is a solution.
It has to do with the following quote:
“That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is a simple process to bring Emerson’s quote alive so that overcoming a pornography viewing habit becomes easier every day. Once you’ve mastered the steps of dealing with the temptation (if you’re new to Power Over Pornography, check out the book on Amazon or get it free, plus shipping and handling, at https://freebook.poweroverpornography.com to learn the steps).
After a few months of living the porn-free, loving life, viewers stop experiencing frequent temptations. This is when they become vulnerable. In fact, pornography viewers are quick to pronounce themselves cured or, having taken steps to overcome their habit, consider themselves cured enough that they can stop doing what helped them overcome porn.
Then a temptation will come seemingly from nowhere and the “former” viewer relapses before they know what hits them. To interrupt that process and avoid relapse, here’s the secret:
The first two steps can be considered prerequisites:
Step 1: Be humble. When viewers recognize that:
We are all vulnerable to temptation at any time,
then they recognize the need to stay “practiced” at overcoming the temptation. They don’t pronounce themselves cured and continue to do what got them there.
Step 2: Remember the essential nature of temptation:
Temptation is a fact of life. In fact, it’s one of life’s purposes.
Without an evil alternative to choose, then we really have one choice only, which means we effectively have no choice. With no choice, we experience no growth or learning and life’s purpose and meaning disappear.
Once we accept temptation as a fact of life, as normal and natural and something that comes to us all, we recognize the need to practice. How do we practice?
Step 3: Practice. This is where Emerson’s quote comes to life. This is the key to “once and for all.”
Every day, go through the following steps:
- Create a thought that mimics a temptation. Say to yourself, “I want to view.” Seem weird to create a temptation? Well, this simple and most vital step kicks off the “persist in doing” part of the quote.
- Accept the thought as normal and natural. “And it’s OK to want to view.” Now, you’re going through the steps. Keep going.
- Exercise your freedom to choose. “The choice is up to me and for this instance (recognize that you can choose differently next time), I choose…”
- Choose your vision of the positive consequences of living a loving life (living a loving life is the opposite of viewing porn—better to state the positive side). Please see more about these steps and how to develop your vision at http://poweroverpornography.com.
This is daily practice. There are a few more steps to practice that help you avoid relapse and live a loving life. You can find them in the book at https://freebook.poweroverpornography.com. You can also sign up for more detailed daily practice reminders at http://poweroverorography.coom/practice. Scroll down and sign up for the daily reminders.
As Emerson stated, living a loving life free of pornography becomes easier as you practice dealing with the temptation in a healthy way every day. Your capacity increases and your brain changes. May you receive all the wonderful blessings of living a loving life.