Why Most New Year’s Resolutions to Stop Viewing Pornography Fail…and What You Can Do to Make Them Succeed.
The beginning of the new year has always been a time for renewal. I’ve always used January 1 as a goal-setting day but am I fooling myself? According to research from the University of Scranton, only 8% of people achieve their New Year’s resolutions. Does this mean we shouldn’t set New Year’s resolutions or use the changing of the year to set goals? No, but if we fall in the 92%, we may need to change our approach to resolutions so we can achieve them.
Let’s evaluate why most resolutions fail and what we can do to make ours successful.
There are three common problems with New Year’s resolutions that fail:
- Too many.
- Too long of a time frame.
- No articulated benefits.
Too many. When you set too many resolutions with loose priorities on which are the most important, your focus is spread too thin. Your likelihood of achieving any of them drops. The solution: Set only one to three resolutions. If you have a pornography habit, there is no more important resolution you can have than to overcome it. In fact, I recommend that you make overcoming pornography viewing your only resolution. The negative consequences of pornography are too great to risk spreading your focus.
Too long of a time frame. One huge problem with most New Year’s resolutions is that they’re made for the entire year. When we set our time frame to one year, we start to rely on willpower instead of choice. How? When temptation comes, we don’t have a choice in that moment because we decided on New Year’s Day that we would not view pornography. This leads to feelings of being deprived. When we feel deprived, we start to feel like a victim. Once we feel like a victim, succumbing to the temptation is almost inevitable.
Instead, preserve your right to choose every moment. Win the moment. Win the day. The year will take care of itself.
No articulate benefits. When we focus only on the goal or resolution and lose sight of its benefits, we lose power to overcome temptations in the moment. Write down and frequently review the positive consequences you experience when you live a loving life without pornography. Here are just a handful of the positive consequences:
- Greatly increased ability to love deeply.
- Deep, meaningful relationships.
- Sharply increased achievement at work or school.
- Greater depth of emotions—no more numbness.
- Strong spiritual connection with God and others.
Go ahead and make your New Year’s resolution(s). But this time, make them successful by selecting only one to three to make sure you maintain focus. Next, set your time frame for this moment and this day only. By recognizing that you can choose differently next time, you keep the feelings of deprivation away and increase your rate of success. Lastly, always associate your resolution with its positive consequences.
When you follow these steps, you increase your chances of success with any resolution, but especially the most important one, overcoming pornography viewing and living a loving life. I wish you the best of blessings, especially a life filled with love, throughout 2018.
To find out more about how to successfully overcome pornography, get your free copy of the Power Over Pornography book at www.freebook.poweroverpornography.com.