Power Over Pornography

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Shame: Its Devastating Impact on Living a Porn-Free Life and How to Combat It

First, let’s define shame. Shame, unlike guilt, is labeling ourselves as a “bad person.” Guilt is acknowledging that we did something bad. Once we feel shame, we naturally begin doing things that bad people do. For a viewer, that means we view porn.

As Brené Brown shared in her book Daring Greatly, when we are “full of shame or even just feeling the fear of shame, we are more likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors and to attack or shame others…. Shame is much more likely to be the cause of destructive and hurtful behaviors than it is to be the solution.”

Shame focuses on our inadequacies, our lack, our evilness instead of our current worthiness, our potential and our goodness. Shame stops progress and causes paralysis before it causes “destructive and hurtful behaviors.”

So how do we get rid of the shame and the destructive behavior that follows?

Shame is an oft-quoted consequence of pornography viewing but it doesn’t have to be. When we take the following simple actions, we reject the shame.

  1. Accept the temptation to view as normal and natural and part of life. One of God’s greatest gifts to us is our freedom to choose and direct our life as we see fit. If there was no temptation, there would be no choice and our ability to direct our lives would be lost. In other words, temptation is essential to living a self-directed, free life.

Viewers too often feel shame at the onset of temptation. Instead of giving life to the feelings of shame, accept the temptation as normal by simply stating to yourself. “It’s OK to want to view pornography.”

After you accept the temptation with this statement, you follow the remaining steps to overcome the temptation to view, including exercising your freedom to choose and choosing your personalized vision of living a loving life. For more information on theses and the other steps, visit http://poweroverpornography.com/vision or pick up the book Power Over Pornography for just a small shipping and handling cost at https://freebook.poweroverpornography.com.

  1. Recognize the divinity within you. As Dieter F Uchtdorf stated, “Remember that you are of the royal house of the kingdom of God, [sons and] daughters of Heavenly Parents, who reign throughout the universe. You have the spiritual DNA of God. … You are His precious child. He loves you. Even when you stumble, even when you turn away from Him, God loves you. If you are feeling lost, abandoned, or forgotten—fear not. The Good Shepherd will find you. He will lift you upon His shoulders. And He will carry you home.”

And as Marianne Williamson stated, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Always keep in mind your divine heritage and the goodness within you by practicing positive affirmations on a regular basis. Here are some examples:

  • I am a child of God
  • I feel terrific
  • I am the best at what I do
  • I love deeply and am worthy of being loved
  • I bless lives

(See http://poweroverpornography.com/affirmations for more examples of affirmations)

Shame never originates from God and does not have a place in the lives of those who are striving to live a loving life. Banish shame associated with pornography temptation from your life by accepting the temptation and affirming your worth. May you continue to live a loving life.

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